Practice text with full furigana

わたくし暇乞いとまごをするとき先生せんせい夫婦ふうふべたとお、それから三日目みっかめ汽車きしゃ東京とうきょうってくにかえった。このふゆ以来いらいちち病気びょうきについて先生から色々いろいろ注意ちゅういけた私は、一番いちばん心配しんぱいしなければならない地位ちいにありながら、どういうものか、それがたいしてにならなかった。私はむしろ父がいなくなったあとのはは想像そうぞうしてどくおもった。そのくらいだから私はこころのどこかで、父はすでにくなるべきものと覚悟かくごしていたちがいなかった九州きゅうしゅうにいるあにへやった手紙てがみのなかにも、私は父の到底とてももとのような健康体けんこうたいになる見込みこのないことを述べた。一度いちどなどは職務しょくむ都合つごうもあろうが、できるならあわせてこのなつぐらい一度かおだけでもかえったらどうだとまでいたそのうえ年寄としより二人ふたりぎり田舎いなかにいるのはさだめて心細こころぼそだろう、我々われわれとして遺憾いかんいたであるというような感傷的かんしょうてき文句もんくさえ使つかった。私は実際じっさいこころうかままを書いた。けれども書いたあとの気分きぶんは書いた時とはちがっていた

私はそうした矛盾むじゅんを汽車のなかかんがえた。考えているうちに自分じぶんが自分にかわりやすい軽薄けいはくもののようにおもわれて。私は不愉快ふゆかいになった。私はまた先生夫婦の事をおもうかべた。ことに三日さんにちまえ晩食ばんめしばれた時の会話かいわおもした

「どっちがさきだろう」

私はその晩先生とおくさんあいだおこった疑問ぎもんをひとりくちうちかえしてみた。そうしてこの疑問にはだれ自信じしんをもってこたえる事ができないのだと思った。しかしどっちが先へ死ぬと判然はっきりわかっていたならば、先生はどうするだろう。奥さんはどうするだろう。先生も奥さんも、いまのような態度たいどでいるよりほか仕方しかたがないだろうと思った。(死にちかづきつつある父を国元くにもとひかえながら、この私がどうする事もできないように)。私は人間にんげん果敢はかないものにかんじた。人間のどうする事もできないってうまれた軽薄を、果敢ないものに観じた。

Rough translation

Just as I'd announced to Sensei and his wife in parting, I boarded a train three days hence to depart from Tōkyō and journey home. Since the prior winter, Sensei had offered considerable counsel on my father's illness. While I had every reason to feel concern, I found myself, somehow, remarkably subdued. I was troubled most by thoughts of my mother alone after his death. In my mind, no doubt, I had already come to terms with his mortality. In a letter to my elder brother in Kyūshū, I had stated plainly that Father would never recover his health. I had also urged him to find time this summer, despite his duties, to visit home and look one more time into Father's eyes. In an appeal to his sentiment, I'd added that it would be unconscionable for us, as children, to leave our aged parents forsaken and forlorn in the country. These words, as I wrote them, were sincere and from the heart. Afterward, however, they seemed to ring hollow.

I reflected on this inconsistency as I sat in the train. As I reflected, I came to see myself as fickle and superficial. I felt dissatisfied. I turned my thoughts to Sensei and his wife. In particular, I thought back on the recent conversation at their dinner table.

"Which of us do you suppose will die first?"

I silently repeated the question that Sensei and his wife had considered that evening. I knew full well that this question could not be answered with any certainty. But what if it could? What if they did know who was to die first? What would Sensei do? What would Sensei's wife do? I wondered what they could do, other than carry on just as they were. (Just as I carried on myself, with the death of my father back home approaching.) Human life, I saw, was something just transitory. Our superficial natures which serve us to little effect, I saw, was also something just transitory.

Vocabulary

わたくし I; me暇乞いとまごい leave-taking; farewellとき time; occasion先生せんせい夫婦ふうふ Sensei and his wifeべたとおり as stated; as said三日目みっかめ third day汽車きしゃ (steam) train東京とうきょう Tōkyōって depart; leaveくに country; one's native placeかえった returned toふゆ winter以来いらい sinceちち father病気びょうき illness色々いろいろの various注意ちゅうい advice; points of cautionけた received一番いちばん most (of all)心配しんぱいしなければならない have reason to worry地位ちい positionたいして (not so) muchにならなかった did not trouble; did not weigh onはは mother想像そうぞうして imagineどく pitiable; unfortunateおもった thought of (as)こころ heart; mindくなる pass away覚悟かくごしていた was resolved to; was resigned toちがいなかった no doubt ...九州きゅうしゅう Kyūshūあに older brother手紙てがみ letter到底とても (not) possibly; by (no) means (usually 到底とうてい)もとのような former; as before健康体けんこうたい physical health見込みこみ outlook; prospectこと fact; situation一度いちど once職務しょくむ work; professional duties都合つごう circumstances; conditionsあわせて arrange; manage (to find time)なつ summerかお faceかえったら come back to seeいた wroteそのうえ on top of that; furthermore年寄としより old folks; the aged; the elderly二人ふたりぎり just two (people)田舎いなか country; countrysideさだめて surely; certainly心細こころぼそい lonely; forlorn我々われわれ we; us children遺憾いかん regretいたり utmost limit; greatest extent感傷的かんしょうてきな sentimental文句もんく words; expression使つかった used; employed実際じっさい actually; in factこころうかぶ feel in one's heart気分きぶん feeling; moodちがっていた was different; was changed 矛盾むじゅん contradiction; inconsistencyなか insideかんがえた thought about; considered自分じぶん oneselfかわりやすい inconstant; fickle; easily swayed軽薄けいはくもの shallow person; superficial personおもわれてた began to seem不愉快ふゆかいになった felt dissatisfiedおもうかべた thought back to三日さんにち two or three days; several daysまえ before; earlier晩食ばんめし evening meal; dinnerばれた was called; was invited (to)会話かいわ talk; conversationおもした recollected; recalled さき first; before; in advanceぬ die; pass away おくさん (Sensei's) wifeあいだに between ...おこった took place; occurred疑問ぎもん questionくちうちで to oneself; silentlyかえして repeatだれも (no) one自信じしん confidence; certaintyこたえる answer判然はっきり clearlyわかっていたならば if one knewいま now; the present態度たいど manner; behaviorほかに other than仕方しかたがない is no other way; is nothing else for itちかづきつつある is approaching国元くにもと one's hometown; one's native placeひかえながら have (before one)人間にんげん human beings; people果敢はかない fleeting; transitoryかんじた regarded; viewed (as)ってうまれた be born with; come into the world with